We were more like friends than a couple. No one would have been able to notice anything other than two people that knew each other really well. I once asked her about how she was acting. Tina stated, “Well, do you really think we should act like 'husband' and wife? I mean honestly you hardly appear husbandly. We would be more confused as lesbian lovers than a man and woman.” It was hard to argue with this. By this point I was full time Debra and most, if not everyone, saw me as her and not Robert anymore. Actually I was even beginning to see myself as anyone other than Debra now. It wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying it. As I relaxed with being out in public, I found more pleasure and relaxed at the thought of being dressed all the time. It was now the rare occasion when I had to go drab that bothered me. I had grown to hate being in drab and on those occasions could not wait to get back and out of it. I kept myself smooth all the time. Tina said she liked it better and since it gave me. I started crying.Having sex with Manuela did not cure me at once, but gradually I started having some feelings. I can't remember what the first thing was, that made me smile again; but I think it was something small and silly.The result was almost a total disaster, as when I smiled, Alexa started crying. Only then did it occur to me how worried they must have been because of me. They were living in a strange country, with strange habits, with only barely adequate language skills. They lived at the mercy of a man capable of killing, who seemed to be losing his mind. Apologizing led only to more tears. It took almost two hours before things were back to normal again ... whatever that meant in this household.During the next couple of weeks, Manuela brought me back to the living. Only now, I also found out that at thirty-three, she was seven years my senior but, especially now that she had lost some weight, she still had a killer body. She had married at sixteen, and had Alexa when she.
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